Even Hell Has Holiday Sales
by Regallo
Summary: Just a for fun story of the Old Hell Family. What are Satori, Koishi, Rin and Utsuho up to?


Even Hell Has Holiday Sales

A thick black fog covered the top half of the kitchen. A girl with large black wings half sprinted half glided into the kitchen.

"What's on fire!"

"Okuu, don't worry," responded a girl with red cat ears, long red hair tied in two thin pony tails, and a green dress.

"The kitchen is on fire!" screamed Utsuho.

"Nothing is on fire," smiled the cat girl, "I'm just baking a cake."

"You're burning a cake Rin! Satori is going to yell at us….at me."

Utsuho's wings folded up behind her. She walked past Rin. As they past each other one could see that Utsuho was a head taller than the cat girl, Rin. She also seemed older because she had breast while Rin still looked prepubescent. Utsuho griped the bottom of the window seal. The veins on her arms popped as she slammed the window open. Immediately all the dark smoke rushed her way. The smoke flooded her face as it was sucked out the window. *Cough* *Cough.*

"I did not burn the kitchen," said Rin.

Utsuho pointed at each and every blackened dish, which consisted of ten plates, bowls, and pots that laid on the charred counter, a folding table, and on top of the stove itself. The black smoke now came straight out of the oven and went directly out the window. Utsuho looked down. She jumped at the sight of soot covering her cloths. She frantically beat it off of her white blouse and green skirt. She then used her now white and grey blouse to shine the red orb that hung at the center of her chest. Utsuho stared at her now even darker blouse.

"My clothes," Utsuho whined. "I have to go change now."

"It's too late now, He'll be here any minute!" yelled Rin.

Utsuho ran out of the kitchen. Or tried too, but her body smacked into the body of a little girl. The little girl fell on her butt. Utsuho would have fallen, but a flap of her wings gave her just enough gust to regain her footing. Utsuho bent down to help the little girl. The little girl had short cut purple hair held down with a head band with a golden heart on it. She wore a white collared blue blouse and a bright purple almost white skirt that fell far below her knees. Both her skirt and her blouse hung on her very loosely allowing the girl to fold her arms inside of her blouse, so just her hands popped out the sleeves. The girl removed one of her arms from her sleeve to waive Utsuho away, who had bent down to help her. The girl slowly stood up. An opaque red shaped eye on a string tied around her body dangled by her chest.

"Utsuho, Rin, what are you two burning?"

"Nothing, master Satori," answered the bird girl.

"I'm baking a cake," smiled Rin. "I did not burn the cake, promise."

"You've never shown interest in cooking before."

"It's my first time meeting the salesman. I want to sell my cake to him so he'll be impressed."

"AHH!" screamed Okuu. "His first impression of me will be of a dirty pigeon."

Utsuho darted past Satori and out of the room. Satori stared at Okuu until she had completely floated out of view. She then turned toward Rin.

"I'll be ready in a second. Let me get my cake out the oven," said Rin.

Rin picked up a wooden pan on a huge stick, she opened the oven. A new cloud of black smoke flooded her head then flew out of the window.

"What are your pets burning now, sis?" said a girl who just walked up behind Satori.

The new girl looked very much like Satori in the face. They both were pale, had wide eyes and petite noses. They both were smaller than Rin who was not that tall herself. The new girl however had brighter and slightly longer hair than Satori. Her whitish blue hair fell just below her neck folding up on her shoulders. She wore a black sunhat wrapped with a yellow ribbon. She also wore an orange jacket with a green collar. Her skirt was white on top and green on the bottom in a pattern that looked like ripples in a pond. She also had a ball hanging around her chest, but as Satori's had an open eye on it, this girl's purple ball's eye was closed.

"Koishi," was all that Satori said.

"Let's get going," responded the new girl.

Rin pulled out a cake and presented it to the two with a light bow.

"How is that possible?" remarked Koishi.

The cake was pristine. It was covered in white icing and was topped with four ripe strawberries."

"That cake should be burned," remarked Satori.

"The cake's for Rinnoske?" asked Koishi.

Rin nodded. Rin placed the cake in a small black rolling cart and all three of them walked out of the kitchen.

"Watch sister. I'll show you how low I can buy from him this time."

"Don't you start Koishi. Don't manipulate the salesman. It's wrong."

"I'll do what I want. Why do you care even care? It's not like you like him anyway."

"Everything that man says is a lie," said Satori as they got further away from the kitchen.

"What about Okuu?" said Rin. She bit her finger and looked wide eyed at Satori.

"She will catch up to us," interjected Koishi.

Outside of the mansion was truly not outside. The mansion stood miles below the surface. Anyone looking up would only be able to see a small bright circle indicating where the sky was. The circle was there now so presumably on the surface it was daytime and sunny. The place around the mansion was never dark though. Surrounding the mansion danced a pretty array of flames patterned to look like a maze to anyone who could fly.

Utsuho hopped out of the Mansion, still shoving one of her boots on her foot. Her boots were missed matched. One looked larger than the other. No one else was there.

"Ahh! I don't want to be late."

Utsuho ran. She spread her large wings. With a single flap and jump she was airborne. She then flapped again going higher and higher and then soared away from the mansion, flapping when needing to keep altitude.

The caverns underground were truly huge. The only way one could tell that they were natural was that the ground held no semblance of order. It was all jagged rocks and mixed matched altitudes; so much so that a huge drawbridge had to be erected to reach the exit. Satori at the head and her sister behind her walked across the swaying bridge with neither excitement nor fear on their face. Rin on the other hand wore a face splitting grin.

"There he is!" yelped Rin.

Rin smiled and pointed at the speck on the other side of the mile long bridge. They all eventually crossed it. On the other side stood the cavern wall and a small open door large enough for the man and barely large enough for the horse drawn wagon standing behind him. Above the door read the word "Stairs" in a kanji possibly several thousand years old.

The young man smiled. He had golden eyes covered by small circular glasses. On his head was short spiky silver hair. He looked young, but not young, like the sisters. He wore a blue and back kimono, with a small brown bag tied to his chest.

Rin immediately pulled the cake out of her wagon. She ran out to the salesman with her huge grin. Rin kneeled on the floor, her head almost touching the ground, and held her cake up for the man.

"I'm flattered," said the young man. with a light smile on his face.

Miles away Utsuho soared through the darkness. As high as she was and as far as she was from the mansion the fire only gave a hint of light. While flying, a shadow to the left of her kept catching her eye. The shadow traveled parallel to her. Utsuho shook the thought from her head.

"I must not get distracted," whispered Utsuho to herself.

She flew some more.

"I must not get distracted," whispered Utsuho to herself again.

Utsuho flew straight.

"I must not get distracted," she whispered to herself, but found her body gliding closer and closer to the shadow that was keeping up with her. Utsuho's body froze. Every muscle not in her wings tensed up. She went wide eyed.

A woman flew next to her, a demon woman with two grotesque horns protruding out of her head. The women eyes were glazed over. Her general direction was a straight line, but her movements were erratic. She carried a large gourd on her back half the size that she was and in one of her hands she held a small sake cup, which she was currently sipping from.

Utsuho slowly glided further away to where the woman became a shadow again.

"She didn't see me, she didn't see me."

The shadow quickly soared next to Utsuho. They now flew side by side, Utsuho pretended not to look.

"Don't drink and fly," giggled the women.

The demon woman raised her right arm and punched Utsuho in the face. The bird girl spiraled out of the sky in that trajectory. All was black, but Utsuho regained her consciousness and re-spread her wings. It was not fast enough to keep her from hitting the ground. She bounced on dirt and rocks and rolled several times before kneeling up. Utsuho grabbed her jaw. She shook with fear.

"Stupid oni."

Utsuho jumped. The ground below her exploded as the oni slammed her heal into the ground. Utsuho flew away. She soared back toward the mansion.

A house sized boulder flew past Utsuho. It crashed on a protruding part of the wall. The rubble from the boulder was bigger than she was and now the rocks fell toward Utsuho. Utsuho closed her wings and fell. The rocks were heavier and faster. They caught up to her. She dodged in between them. One caught her, but only slightly, tearing a hole in the back of her already ruined blouse.

Utsuho hit the ground and jumped sideways dodging the rest of the falling rocks.

"hahahahahaha!"

The voice came from the darkness and echoed off the walls of the cavern

Utsuho looked left. She looked right. There was a shadow there and there and there too.

Something came at Utsuho at amazing speed. She caught it instinctively. She also instinctively closed her eyes. Utsuho, shaking, slowly opened them. In her hands was a gourd. She shook, trying to decide what to do with it.

A fist from above smashed into Utsuho's head slamming her face into the ground. The oni sat top of her now. Utsuho manage to roll around to face upward. Their hands interlocked. Both of them pushed. The oni drooled on her.

"Have a drink with me…hic"

Utsuho pushed back, but her physical strength could not match that of the drunken Oni.

*crack*

"AHHHHH!" Utsuho screamed as her fingers bent backwards.

Utsuho shoved her foot into the oni's solar plexus. The oni, not being able to breathe let go.

Utsuho's eyes glazed over, not with inebriation but with a darkness. A drip of blood streamed down her lip from where she bit it.

"Die oni!" Utsuho yelled!

With a scowl on her face Utsuho threw her right arm forward. Just below the elbow a ring of green light encompassed her arm. That shiny ring materialized into a metal. With clanking sounds the metal ring built into a canon outstretching past Utsuho's arm. Glowing dark green patterns lined the metal.

Utsuho fired the canon. In a moment of clarity the oni barely jumped out of the way of the green orb.

The oni landed right next to Utsuho. The orb hit a wall.

*BOOOM* The entire cave was bright for a second. The whole place shook. Both girls fell. Pieces of rock fell all around them. Utsuho looked where her shot landed. It created a whole new cave. Somewhere inside there she could see streams of lava.

"Oops," she whispered to herself.

"Utsuho, I told you not to use your powers anymore. You will kill the underground animals," the memory of Satori's voice played in her head.

"I'm sorry Satori."

Utsuho turned to the oni who was also sitting on her behind.

"I don't want to fight you, Ms Oni," said Utsuho.

Utsuho let her arm cannon disappear leaving only an outstretched pale arm.

The oni turned to her and smiled.

Before Utsuho could think, another fist slammed into her face and now Utsuho laid on the ground facing up with the oni on top of her. Utsuho tried to grab the oni's arms, but the oni kept slamming her fist into the bird girl's face. The oni punched Utsuho's head further and further into the ground. Utsuho was loosing consciousness. Fantasy and reality blurred in her mind. She could not entirely tell what was what. An image of Koishi appeared into her head. It was weird, because as much as Rin and Utsuho were ordered to play with Koishi, they never seemed to bond. They only ever had a few complete conversations between each other, but now that Utsuho was falling deeper and deeper into darkness a random sentence that came out of Koishi's moth replayed in Utsuho's head. "Silly bird, you can't use your strength to do everything. Some things require a working mind."

"My mind," Utsuho thought, the shock and adrenaline kept her from the pain of the punches.

"But Rin always calls me stupid, and Satori looks at me weird whenever I tell her I'm thinking of something."

Utsuho picked up her arms to block the punches to her face. Each fist smashed into her arms. They stopped the blows to the face, but for how long? Utsuho rolled over. The oni subsequently toppled over. Utsuho tried to scramble to her feet but the oni grasped her hair and pulled Utsuho back and pushed Utsuho back into the ground.

"Drink with me!" the oni roared.

She punched Utsuho's face back into the ground.

"My mind?"

The oni wouldn't let go of Utsuho's hair. Utsuho managed to spread her wings while the Oni was focused on the hair.

"Ahh!" Utsuho screamed at the hair pulling, but she jumped. Utsuho jumped with all her might. Her wings fluttered frantically to keep them both a float and then Utsuho soared off with the oni clenching onto her hair."

"My mind?"

Utsuho was not used to planning things so she tried to exercise this diplomacy from the basics.

"Ms Oni, what is your name?"

"SUIKA DESU!" screamed back the oni.

"Ms Suika I am too young to drink."

The Oni, Suika yanked Utsuho's hair with such force that the bird girl whipped backwards. They start to descend. In the free fall Suika managed to grab Utsuho's shoulders. She looked Utsuho directly into her eyes.

"No one is too young to drink…hic"

"Please don't kill me," squeaked Utsuho.

Utsuho realized that they weren't freefalling anymore. "Suika must be using her oni floating powers," Utsuho thought. Then they started descending again. First it was slow, and then faster and then she knew crashing into the ground would not be pleasant.

"I'm sobering up," said Suika with great concern.

"Ahhhh! They both screamed.

Utsuho spun away from Suika, Her wings once again spread forth. The fall created a drag and gave Utsuho lift. Utsuho immediately angled herself downward. She spiraled down, grabbing one of Suika's arms on the way. Utsuho regained total control and flew, looking for a convenient spot to land. The Oni started crying. Utsuho was both in a state of shock and confusion.

"What's wrong?" asked Utsuho.

"I need to be drunk," the oni cried."

"Why?"

"Leave me alone. I just need my alcohol, ok."

"I don't have any alcohol."

"Why would you? You're just a stupid bird. I have my own sake."

"Where is it? I will take you there."

"That gourd that I threw at you, it was full of..."

Suika gave a few huffs and then devolved into crying.

Utsuho hovered just above a clearing. She let Suika's feet touch the ground first. The oni gave no resistance and she slowly collapsed into a sit. Utsuho landed and sat right next to Suika. Suika whiped the tears from her eyes.

"It was full of sake."

"I will find it," exclaimed Utsuho.

The bird girl gave a bright smile. She was number one in finding things below ground.

Utsuho pointed her arm to the sky. The green light appeared around it. The light materialized into metal and with clanking sounds the full arm cannon completed.

"Temporal sun!" shouted Utsuho.

A tiny spec of light shot out of her arm. It traveled far into the cavern sky. There was a loud sucking sound. Wind began to swirl around the ball of light. Pieces of rock and gravel pulled into the swirl, but as things got closer to the ball of light they disintegrated. The ball of light got darker. It slowly turned into a small dark grey iron ball and when it did the whole cavern turned dark again.

But then, HUGE EXPLOSION. In the sky now was a yellow sun the size of a house. It was so bright that the oni shielded her eyes and Utsuho looked away.

"I'll be right back," said Utsuho.

Utsuho jumped back into the air. She was airborne. With the sun at her back and her raven eyes she could see every piece of dirt. She could see all the worms, the moles, and the lost souls that never made it to new hell. A quick thought past her mind. "I have to tell Rin about those." But the thought quickly fled when she caught sight of the gourd. Utsuho swooped down and snatched up the gourd.

Utsuho flew back to Suika. She was now above the sobbing oni. Suika cried into her hands. Utsuho feet touched the ground. The oni looked up with pathetic eyes. Utsuho handed her the gourd.

"Stupid bird, you don't know what it's like not to be drunk."

The oni snatched the gourd, yanked off the top, and upended the gourd into her mouth. Sake splashed all around her, but her mouth seemed to catch most of it. It felt like forever before Suika turned the gourd upright.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Magnificent!"

The oni face was bright red and on it hung a cheek spitting grin. Suika slapped Utsuho hard on the butt, so hard Utsuho felt like one of her wings was going to snap.

"Thank you, bird girl."

With that the oni fell backwards. Her head hit hard, but the oni still had a smile on her face. She started snoring.

Fire stood next to the cavern exit where Satori and the others spoke, giving them a good amount of light. Rinnoske and Satori's stare at each other lasted until Rinnoske cleared his throat and turned his attention back toward Koishi. Koishi held a folded blue blanket with bright blue flames designed on it that looked almost real.

"This blanket," said Rinnoske. "is imbued with fairy wings. The person who sleeps in this will never get hot. Normally it's would cost 7 rare items. But for you." Rinnoske stopped to think for a while. "For you I will take only a common… a common napkin."

Koishi reached into her pocket and pulled out a red, green and black plaid napkin.

"Stop it Koishi," quietly said Satori.

"Leave me alone sis,"

"What you're doing is wrong."

"What I'm doing is business," responded Koishi.

"You're using your powers to influence the outside world."

"You're using your powers right now."

"I have no choice but to hear people's thoughts. You have control over your powers," remarked Satori

"Yea, MY powers"

"I forbid it."

"I don't have to listen to you!" Screamed Koishi.

Rin's cat ears drooped. Rinnoske just held a smile on his face.

"I am the Empress of old hell. You will listen to me!"

Satori's eyes started to glow a dark red.

"Rinnoske jumped between the two. He faced Satori and knelled, so their height matched. He brushed the hair from the side of her face.

"It's alright. All the girls, ALL the girls in Gensokyo try to get deals from me. It's not that big a deal."

Rinnoske stood back up, and glanced at Koishi over his shoulder.

"I gave her the blanket because I think she's cute."

Koishi blushed. With the napkin in one hand and the blanket in the other she held her hands up to her heart. Rinnoske gently took the napkin form Koishi and smiled. He walked over to his wagon. He put his torso inside and placed the napkin somewhere.

"Everything that man says is a lie," Satori said to no one.

Rin looked to her with concern.

"Now sisters, and the lovely Rin, who was a pleasure to meet," Rinnoske put one of his arms in front of him and one behind and gave a bow. "I know you all wish for me to stay-"

"Please come to dinner!" brightly exclaimed Rin.

"I'm sorry, I must request your permission to depart. I have many other shrines to visit."

"Go ahead, leave," said Koishi.

Satori looked at her.

"Thank you young princess," he said.

Rinnoske climbed back on his wagon and grabbed the reins. He steered the horses in a half circle and the horses and the wagon climbed the stairs. After Rinnoske had rounded out of sight two hell moles closed the double doors. The tiny creatures bowed and escaped into two holes on each side of the door. The group then turned around and proceeded across the draw bridge.

"Why did you send him away? I know you wanted him to stay?" said Satori.

"The sooner he left the sooner he can return and I measured that I had a better chance making him stay longer next time since I could manipulate the atmosphere from the beginning of the conversation instead of the end," remarked Koishi.

"At least you're capable of thinking something through," lethargically stated Satori.

They walked a while past the draw bridge. They walked in silence, further and further, but still it did not get dark. Finally, Koishi looked up.

"Huh?"

"That's one of Utsuho's suns," said Rin.

She squished her face in simulated pain. "Is she going to get in trouble, master Satori?" asked Rin.

Satori said nothing. Because of the sun no one saw the thing flying above before it landed right in front of them. It was the bird girl. With a black eye, a busted lip, a fat cheek, a very dirty and shredded outfit, and a huge smile.

"I can't believe I caught up to you. Let's go see Rinnoske." Utsuho huffed and puffed.

Rin turned away.

"What happened to you?" said Koishi; though the question was posed like she could really care less.

"I had to help an Oni visit her very very very scary family," said Utsuho. "Koishi, where'd you get that blanket?"

Utsuho's eyes bulged and her smile disappeared with the realization. She did not let a tear fall, she would not. Instead she kneeled and punched the ground. Rin put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry,"

The next words came from Satori.

"When Koishi knew you wouldn't make it. She sent Rinnoske away as fast as she could, so he would make his other trips and come back as soon as possible."

Utsuho turned her face up with a smile and a little bit of escaped tears. She jumped and glided over to Koishi landing on her with a giant hug. Koishi stared down at her blankly.

12/9/10

Regallo


End file.
